Is Silence Golden?

His:
We watched the fireworks recently on the 100th Anniversary of the Queensborough Bridge. I took what I thought was a great shot of us at the end of the night, smiling, having fun. But then the comment came... Ever take a photo you thought would be really great only to have the wife comment that she thinks she looks fat in the picture? Now I don't know, but I think that by now we should have invented a camera that takes OFF ten pounds!! Imagine how wonderful it would be to never have to endure that same old question again? Or the long pause while I consider the possible benefits of stretching the truth vs pretending to be deaf? Or the inevitable remark I have to make... "No honey, you look great!" She gives me that... I don't believe you... look coupled with the saccharine sweet smile. Either way, I'm screwed!!

Hers:
Watching the fireworks from the Queens side of the river on the 100th Anniversary of the Queensborough Bridge was really beautiful. Hubs brought the camera and a tripod to shoot pictures of the display. He was so excited, setting up his toy, having fun with the different settings. It was a spectacular display. I thing Hubs took about 150 shots during the fifteen minutes. At the end the wind was blowing hard. He took one last shot of us before we scooted off the pier and back to the warm car. A couple of nights later we uploaded the photos to the computer. The fireworks were stunning. I was non-plussed to see the shot of us. I looked so much heavier than normal. He looked great. Jeez! I guess it was the angle at which we posed. I really wanted to delete the shot, but hubs liked it so much I left it alone. I think while he's sleeping I'm going to go in and edit it to cut off the parts below the waist. I hope he won't remember that the picture was larger. Don't tell...

Talk:
When partners encounter about a sensitive issue, like weight, small comments can be painful. Sometimes it is best to be silent. But, a gentle yet truthful answer gives the partner who needs it a view of themselves from the outside. There is no right answer. Empathy and kindness are the rule of thumb. We want to be supportive of our partners efforts to practice self care, but at the same time we must weigh the virtue of the old adage, silence is golden.

How have you been supportive of your partner in this way?
Do you have a question you would like to pose to the group?